The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 11 CULT

EACH TIME THAT I OPENED MY look TO THE MORNING light and agnize Id lived through a nonher(prenominal) night was a surprise to me. After the surprise wore authorize, my catch outt would start to race and my palms would sweat I couldnt in truth breathe again until Id gotten up and find that Charlie had survived as well.I could tell he was apprehensivewatching me jump at any loud sound, or my demo all at once go white for no reason that he could enter. From the questions he asked now and thusly, he wait onmed to burden the change onJacobs continued absence.The terror that was al expressive styles foremost in my thoughts usually distracted me from the feature that another week had passed, and Jacob unchanging hadnt refered me. and when I was able to c sensation judgment of convictionntrate on my normal mannerif my life was really ever normalthis upset me.I missed him horribly.It had been harmful exuberant to be al peerless out front I was scared silly. Now, so me(prenominal)(prenominal) than ever, I yearned for his carefree laugh and his infectious grin. I needed the rock-steady sanity of his homemade garage and his warm hand around my c old fingers.Id half(prenominal) expected him to call on Monday. If thither had been some progress with Embry, wouldnt he want to report it? I wanted to cerebrate that it was worry for his friend that was occupying all his time, not that he was merely giving up on me.I called him Tuesday, nevertheless no ace answered. Were the phone lines quiet having problems? Or had billystick invested in caller I.D.?On Wednesday I called e genuinely half hour until subsequently el blush at night, desperate to interpret the frenzy of Jacobs example.Thursday I sat in my transport in front of my signwith the locks pushed downkeys in hand, for a red-blooded hour. I was arguing with myself, nerve-wracking to justify a quick trip to La dig, but I couldnt do it.I knew that Laurent had gone bear to Victoria by now. If I went to La Push, I to a faultk the witness of leading one of them there. What if they caught up to me when Jake was nearby? As very much as it hurt me, I knew it was let on for Jacob that he was avoiding me. Safer for him.It was big enough that I couldnt figure out a way to keep Charlie safe. iniquity was the most samely time that they would stick looking ior me, and what could I cite to get Charlie out of the house? If I told him the truth, hed make water me locked up in a rubber room somewhere. I would control endured thatwelcomed it, evenif it could chip in kept him safe. except Victoria would still come to his house for the first time, looking for me. perchance, if she found me here, that would be enough for her. Maybe she would just leave when she was done with me.So I couldnt run away. Even if I could, where would I go? To Renee? I shuddered at the thought of dragging my lethal shadows into my mothers safe, sunny world. I would never jeopardise her t hat way.The worry was eating a hole in my stomach. Soon I would accommodate matching punctures.That night, Charlie did me another favor and called Harry again to distinguish if the Blacks were out of town. Harry reported that Billy had attended the council confluence Wednesday night, and never mentioned anything rough leaving. Charlie warned me not to make a nuisance of myselfJacob would call when he got around to it.Friday afternoon, as I drove chisel home from school, it hit me out of the blue.I wasnt paying attention to the familiar road, allow the sound of the engine deaden my brain and silence the worries, when my subconscious delivered a verdict it mustiness hand over been working on for some time without my drive inledge.As soon as I thought of it, I felt really stupid for not seeing it sooner. Sure. Id had a lot on my mindrevenue-obsessed vampires, giant mutant wolves, a ragged hole in the center of my chestbutwhen I laid the evidence out, it was embarrassingly obvi ous.Jacob avoiding me. Charlie dictum he looked queer, upset. . . . Billys vague, unhelpful answers.Holy c course, I knew exactly what was spill on with Jacob.It was surface-to-air missile Uley. Even my nightmares had been trying to tell me that. Sam had gotten to Jacob. Whatever was accident to the other boys on the reservation had reached out and stolen my friend. Hed been sucked into Sams furore.He hadnt presumption up on me at all, I realized with a rush of feeling.I let my truck idle in front of my house. What should I do? I weighed the dangers against each other.If I went looking for Jacob, I risked the chance of Victoria or Laurent finding me with him.If I didnt go after him, Sam would pull him deeper into his frightening, domineering gang. Maybe it would be too late if I didnt act soon.It had been a week, and no vampires had come for me yet. A week was more than enough time for them to have re false, so I must not be a priority. Most equivalently, as Id mulish bef ore, they would come for me at night. The chances of them following me to La Push were much lower than the chance of losing Jacob to Sam.It was worth the danger of the secluded forest road. This was no idle visit to see what was discharge on. I knew what was going on. This was a rescue mission. I was going to talk to Jacobkidnap him if I had to. Id once seen a PBS show on deprogramming the brainwashed. in that respect had to be some affable of cure.I decided Id demote call Charlie first. Maybe whatever was going on down in La Push was something the law should be involved in. I dashed inside, in a hurry to be on my way.Charlie answered the phone it the station himself.Chief Swan.Dad, its Bella.Whats wrong?I couldnt argue with his doomsday assumption this time. My voice was vibe.Im worried closely Jacob. wherefore? he asked, surprised by the unexpected topic.I depend I designate something weird is going on down at the reservation. Jacob told me about some strange stuff happen ing with the other boys his age. Now hes acting the same way and Im scared.What kind of stuff? He used his professional, police business voice. That was good he was taking me seriously.First he was scared, and then he was avoiding me, and now Im aquaphobic hes part of that bizarre gang down there, Sams gang. Sam Uleys gang.Sam Uley? Charlie repeated, surprised again.Yes.Charlies voice was more relaxed when he answered. I think youve got it wrong, Bells. Sam Uley is a great kid. Well, hes a man now. A good son. You should hear Billy talk about him. Hes really doing wonders with the youth on the reservation. Hes the one who Charlie broke off mid-sentence, and I guessed that he had been about to make a reference to the night Id gotten lost in the woods. I sound on quickly.Dad, its not like that. Jacob was scared ofhim.Did you talk to Billy about this? He was trying to still me now. Id lost him as soon as Id mentioned Sam.Billys not concerned.Well, Bella, then Im sure its okay. Jaco bs a kid he was probably just tidy suming around. Im sure hes fine. He sack upt spend every waking dainty with you, after all.This isnt about me, I insisted, but the battle was lost.I dont think you need to worry about this. Let Billy take care of Jacob.Charlie My voice was starting to sound whiney.Bells, I got a lot on my musical scale right now. Two tourists have gone missing off a trail outside rounded lake. at that place was an anxious edge to his voice. This wolf problem is getting out of hand.I was momentarily distractedstunned, reallyby his news. There was no way the wolves could have survived a match-up with Laurent be you sure thats what happened to them? I asked.Afraid so, honey. There was He hesitated. There were tracks again, and some blood this time.Oh It must not have come to a confrontation, then. Laurent must have simply outrun the wolves, but why? What Id seen in the meadow just got stranger and strangermore infeasible to understand.Look, I really have to go. Dont worry about Jake, Bella. Im sure its nothing.Fine, I verbalize curtly, frustrated as his lecture reminded me of the more urgent crisis at hand. Bye. I hang up.I stared at the phone for a long minute. What the hell, I decided.Billy answered after two rings.Hello?Hey, Billy, I almost growled. I try to sound more friendly as I continued. nooky I talk to Jacob, please?Jakes not here.What a shock. Do you know where he is?Hes out with his friends. Billys voice was careful.Oh yeah? Anyone I know? Quil? I could tell the words didnt come across as casually as Id correspondt them to.No, Billy said slowly. I dont think hes with Quil today.I knew better than to mention Sams name.Embry? I asked.Billy seemed happier to answer this one. Yeah, hes with Embry.That was enough for me. Embry was one of them.Well, have him call me when he gets in, all right?Sure, sure. No problem. Click.See you soon, Billy, I muttered into the dead phone.I drove to La Push determined to wait. Id sit out front of his house all night if I had to. Id miss school. The boy was going to have to come home sometime, and when he did, he was going to have to talk to me.My mind was so preoccupied that the trip Id been terrified of making seemed to take only a few seconds. Before I was expecting it, the forest began to thin, and I knew I would soon be able to see the first little houses of the reservation.Walking away, on the left side of the road, was a tall boy with a baseball cap.My breath caught for just a moment in my throat, hopeful that luck was with me for once, and Id srumbled across Jacob without scantily trying. nevertheless this boy was too wide, and the tomentum was short under the hat. Even from lav, I was sure it was Quil, though he looked bigger than the last time Id seen him. What was with these Quileute boys? Were they feeding them experimental growth hormones?I crossed all over to the wrong side of the road to stop next to him. He looked up when the roar of my truck approac hed.Quils recipe frightened me more than it surprised me. His face was bleak, brooding, his forehead creased with worry.Oh, hey, Bella, he greeted me dully.Hi, Quil be you okay?He stared at me morosely. Fine.Can I give you a ride somewhere? I offered.Sure, I guess, he mumbled. He shuffled around the front of the truck and opened the passenger door to climbin.Where to?My house is on the north side, endorse behind the store, he told me.Have you seen Jacob today. The question burst from me almost before hed finished speaking.I looked at Quil eagerly, waiting for his answer. He stared out the lead storyshield for a second before he spoke. From a distance, he finally said.A distance? I echoed.I assay to follow themhe was with Embry. His voice was low, weighed down to hear over the engine. I leaned closer. I know they saw me. yet they dour and just disappeared into the trees. I dont think they were aloneI think Sam and his crew might have been with them.Ive been stumbling around i n the forest for an hour, yelling for them. I just barely found the road again when you drove up.So Sam did get to him. The words were a little distortedmy teeth were gritted together.Quil stared at me. You know about that.?I nodded. Jake told me before.Before, Quil repeated, and sighed.Jacobs just as bad as the others now?Never leaves Sams side. Quil turned his head and spit out the open window.And before thatdid he avoid everyone? Was he acting upset?His voice was low and rough. Not for as long as the others. Maybe one day. Then Sam caught up with him.What do you think it is? Drugs or something?I cant see Jacob or Embry getting into anything like that but what do I know? What else could it be? And why arent the old people worried? He shook his head, and the fear showed in his look now. Jacob didnt want to be a part of this cult. I dont understand what could change him. He stared at me, his face frightened. I dont want to be next.My eye mirrored his fear. That was the second time Id heard it described as a cult. I shivered. Are your parents any help?He grimaced. Right. My grandfathers on the council with Jacobs dad. Sam Uley is the best thing that ever happened to this place, as cold as hes concerned.We stared at each other for a prolonged moment. We were in La Push now, and my truck was barely crawling along the empty road. I could see the villages only store not too utmost ahead.Ill get out now, Quil said. My house is right over there. He gestured toward the small wooden rectangle behind the store. I pulled over to the shoulder, and he jumped out.Im going to go wait for Jacob, I told him in a hard voice.Good luck. He slammed the door and shuffled forward along the road, his head bent forward, his shoulders slumped.Quils face haunted me as I made a wide U-turn and headed back toward the Blacks. He was terrified of cosmos next. What was happening here?I stopped in front of Jacobs house, killing the motor and rolling down the windows. It was stuffy today, no breeze. I hurtle my feet up on the dashboard and settled in to wait.A movement flashed in my peripheral visionI turned and spotted Billy looking at me through the front window with a confused lo fill oution. I waved once and smiled a tight smile, but stayed where I was.His eyes narrowed he let the curtain fall across the glass.I was prepared to stay as long as it took, but I aspirationed I had something to do. I dug up a pen out of the can buoy of my backpack, and an old test. I started to doodle on the back of the scrap.Id only had time to scrawl one row of diamonds when there was a sharp tap against my door.I jumped, looking up, expecting Billy.What are you doing here, Bella. Jacob growled.I stared at him in blank astonishment.Jacob had changed radically in the last weeks since Id seen him. The first thing I noticed was his hairhis beautiful hair was all gone, cropped quite short, covering his head with an inky gloss like black satin. The planes of his face seemed to have h ardened subtly, tightened aged. His neck and his shoulders were different, too, thicker somehow. His hands, where they gripped the window frame, looked enormous, with the tendons and veins more prominent under the chromatic skin. But the physical changes were insignificant.It was his expression that made him almost completely unrecognizable. The open, friendly smile was gone like the hair, the warmth in his shameful eyes altered to a brooding resentment that was instantly disturbing. There was a down(p)ness in Jacob now. Like my sun had imploded.Jacob? I whispered.He just stared at me, his eyes tense and huffy.I realized we werent alone. Behind him stood four others all tall and russet-skinned, black hair chopped short just like Jacobs. They could have been brothersI couldnt even pick Embry out of the group. The resemblance was only intensified by the strikingly comparable hostility in every pair of eyes. each pair but one. The oldest by several years, Sam stood in the very bac k, his face serene and sure. I had to swallow back the bile that rose in my throat. I wanted to take a swing at him. No, I wanted to do more than that. More than anything, I wanted to be fierce and deadly, someone no one would dare mess with. Someone who would scare Sam Uley silly.I wanted to be a vampire.The violent desire caught me off guard and knocked the wind out of me. It was the most forbidden of all wisheseven when I only wished it for a spiteful reason like this, to gain an advantage over an enemybecause it was the most painful. That future was lost to me forever, had never really been within my grasp. I scrambled to gain control of myself while the hole in my chest ached hollowly.What do you want? Jacob demanded, his expression growing more resentful as he watched the play of emotion across my face.I want to talk to you, I said in a weak voice. I tried to focus, but I was still reeling against the escape ofmy taboo inspiration.Go ahead, he hissed through his teeth. His g lare was vicious. Id never seen him look at anyone like that, least of all me. It hurt with a surprising intensitya physical pain, a stabbing in my head.Alone I hissed, and my voice was stronger.He looked behind him, and I knew where his eyes would go. Every one of them was turned for Sams reaction.Sam nodded once, his face unperturbed. He made a legal brief comment in an unfamiliar, liquid languageI could only be positive that it wasnt French or Spanish, but I guessed that it was Quileute. He turned and walked into Jacobs house. The others, Paul, Jared, and Embry, I assumed, followed him in.Okay. Jacob seemed a bit less furious when the others were gone. His face was a little calmer, but in addition more hopeless. His mouth seemed permanently pulled down at the corners.I took a deep breath. You know what I want to know.He didnt answer. He just stared at me bitterly.I stared back and the silence stretched on. The pain in his face unnerved me. I felt a lump beginning to build in my throat.Can we walk? I asked while I could still speak.He didnt respond in any way his face didnt change.I got out of the car, feeling unseen eyes behind the windows on me, and started walking toward the trees to the north. My feet squished in the damp grass and mud beside the road, and, as that was the only sound, at first I thought he wasnt following me. But when I glanced around, he was right beside me, his feet having somehow found a less loud path than mine.I felt better in the fringe of trees, where Sam couldnt possibly be watching. As we walked, I struggled for the right thing to say, but nothing came. I just got more and more angry that Jacob had gotten sucked in that Billy had allowed this that Sam was able to stand there so assured and calmJacob suddenly picked up the pace, striding ahead of me easily with his long legs, and then swinging around to face me, planting himself in my path so I would have to stop too.I was distracted by the overt boon of his movement. Jacob ha d been nearly as klutzy as me with his never-ending growth spurt. When did that changed?But Jacob didnt give me time to think about it.Lets get this over with, he said in a hard, husky voice.I waited. He knew what I wanted.Its not what you think. His voice was abruptly weary. Its not what I thoughtI was way off.So what is it, then?He analyse my face for a long moment, speculating. The anger never completely left his eyes. I cant tell you, he finally said.My jaw tightened, and I spoke through my teeth. I thought we were friends.We were. There was a polished emphasis on the away tense.But you dont need friends anymore, I said sourly. You have Sam. Isnt that niceyouve always looked up to him so much.I didnt understand him before.And now youve seen the light. Hallelujah.It wasnt like I thought it was. This isnt Sams fault. Hes helping me as much as he can. His voice turned brittle and he looked over my head, past me, rage desirous out from his eyes.Hes helping you, I repeated dubiou sly. Naturally.But Jacob didnt seem to be listening. He was taking deep, see breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking.Jacob, please, I whispered Wont you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help.No one can help me now. The words were a low utter his voice broke.What did he do to you? I demanded, tears collecting in my eyes. I reached out to him, as I had once before, smellping forward with my arms wide.This time he cringed away, holding his hands up defensively. Dont tie in me, he whispered.Is Sam catching? I mumbled. The stupid tears had escaped the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand, and folded my arms across my chest.Stop blaming Sam. The words came out fast, like a reflex. His hands reached up to misdirect around the hair that was no longer there, and then discharge limply at his sides.Then who should I blame? I retorted.He halfway smiled it was a bleak, twisted thing.You dont want to hear that.The hell I dont I snapped. I want to know, and I want to know now.Youre wrong, he snapped back.Dont you dare tell me Im wrongIm not the one who got brainwashed Tell me now whose fault this all is, if its not your precious SamYou asked for it, he growled at me, eyes glinting hard. If you want to blame someone, why dont you grade your finger at those filthy, smell bloodsuckers that you love so much?My mouth fell open and my breath came out with a whooshing sound. I was frozen in place, stabbed through with his double-edged words. The pain twisted in familiar patterns through my body, the saw-toothed hole ripping me open from the inside out, but it was second place, background music to the chaos of my thoughts. I couldnt believe that Id heard him correctly. There was no trace of indecision in his face. Only fury.My mouth still hung wide.I told you that you didnt want to hear it, he said.I dont understand who you mean, I whispered.He raised one eyebrow in disbelief. I think you understand exactly who I mean. Youre not going to make me say it, are you? I dont like painfulness you.I dont understand who you mean, I repeated mechanically.The Cullens, he said slowly, drawing out the word, scrutinizing my face as he spoke it. I saw thatI can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name.I shook my head back and aside in denial, trying to clear it at the same time. How did he know this? And how did it have anything to do with Sams cult? Was it a gang of vampire-haters? What was the point of forming such a society when no vampires lived in Forks anymore? Why would Jacob start believing the stories about the Cullens now, when the evidence of them was long gone, never to return?It took me too long to come up with the correct response. Dont tell me youre listening to Billys superstitious nonsense now, I said with a game attempt at mockery.He knows more than I gave him credit for.Be serious, Jacob.He glared at me, his eyes critical.Superstitions aside, I said quickly. I stil l dont see what youre accusing the Cullenswinceof. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?Sam isnt doing anything, Bella. And I know theyre gone. But sometimes things are set in motion, and then its too late.Whats set in motion? Whats too late? What are you blaming them for?He was suddenly right in my face, his fury glowing in his eyes. For existing, he hissed.I was surprised and distracted as the warning words came in Edwards voice again, when I wasnt even scared.Quiet now, Bella. Dont push him, Edward cautioned in my ear.Ever since Edwards name had broken through the careful walls Id buried it behind, Id been ineffective to lock it up again. It didnt hurt nownot during the precious seconds when I could hear his voice.Jacob was fuming in front of me, quivering with anger.I didnt understand why the Edward delusion was unexpectedly in my mind. Jacob was livid, but he was Jacob. There was no adrenaline, no danger.Give him a chance to cal m down, Edwards voice insisted.I shook my head in confusion. Youre being ridiculous, I told them both.Fine, Jacob answered, breathing deeply again. I wont argue it with you. It doesnt matter anyway, thedamage is done.What damage?He didnt ricochet as I shouted the words in his face.Lets head back. Theres nothing more to say.I gaped. Theres everything more to say You havent said anything yetHe walked past me, striding back toward the house.I ran into Quil today, I yelled after him.He paused midstep, but didnt turn.You remember your friend, Quil? Yeah, hes terrified.Jacob whirled to face me. His expression was pained. Quil was all he said.Hes worried about you, too. Hes freaked out.Jacob stared past me with desperate eyes.I goaded him further. Hes frightened that hes next.Jacob clutched at a tree for support, his face turning a strange shade of green under the red-brown surface. He wont be next, Jacob muttered to himself. He cant be. Its over now. This shouldnt still be happening. Why ? Why? His fist slammed against the tree. It wasnt a big tree, slender and only a few feet taller than Jacob. But it still surprised me when tht trunk gave way and snapped off loudly under his blows.Jacob stared at the sharp, broken point with shock that quickly turned to horror.I have to get back. He whirled and stalked away so swiftly that I had to jog to keep up.Back to SamThats one way of looking at it, it sounded like he said. He was mumbling and facing away.I chased him back to the truck. Wait I called as he turned toward the house.He spun around to face me, and I saw that his hands were shaking again.Go home, Bella. I cant hang out with you anymore.The silly, inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent. The tears welled up again. Are you breaking up with me? The words were all wrong, but they were the best way I could think to develop what I was asking. After all, what Jake and I had was more than any schoolyard romance. Stronger.He barked out a bitter laugh. Hardly. If that were the case, Id say Lets stay friends. I cant even say that.Jacob why? Sam wont let you have other friends? Please, Jake. You promised. I need you The blank emptiness of my life beforebefore Jacob brought some semblance of reason back into itreared up and confronted me. bleakness choked in my throat.Im sorry, Bella, Jacob said each word distinctly in a cold voice that didnt seem to belong to him.I didnt believe that this was really what Jacob wanted to say. It seemed like there was something else trying to be said through his angry eyes, but I couldnt understand the message.Maybe this wasnt about Sam at all. Maybe this had nothing to do with the Cullens. Maybe he was just trying to pull himself out of a hopeless situation. Maybe I should let him do that, if thats what was best for him. I should do that. It would be right.But I heard my voice escaping in a whisper.Im sorry that I couldnt before I wish I could change how I feel about you, Jacob. I was desperate, reaching, stretchin g the truth so far that it curved nearly into the shape of a lie. Maybe maybe I would change, I whispered. Maybe, if you gave me some time just dont quit on me now, Jake. I cant take it.His face went from anger to agony in a second. One shaking hand reached out toward me.No. Dont think like that, Bella, please. Dont blame yourself, dont think this is your fault. This one is all me. I swear, its not about you.Its not you, its me, I whispered. Theres a new one.I mean it, Bella. Im not he struggled, his voice going even huskier as he fought to control his emotion. His eyes were tortured. Im not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. Im not what I was before. Im not good.What? I stared at him, confused and appalled. What are you saying? Youre much better than I am, Jake. You are good Who told you that you arent? Sam? Its a vicious lie, Jacob Dont let him tell you that I was suddenly yelling again.Jacobs face went hard and flat. No one had to tell me anything. I know wh at I am.Youre my friend, thats what you are JakedontHe was backing away from me.Im sorry, Bella, he said again this time it was a broken mumble. He turned and almost ran into the house.I was unable to move from where I stood. I stared at the little house it looked too small to hold four man-sized boys and two larger men. There was no reaction inside. No flutter at the edge of the curtain, no sound of voices or movement. It faced me vacantly.The rain started to drizzle, stinging here and there against my skin. I couldnt take my eyes off the house. Jacob would come back. He had to.The rain picked up, and so did the wind. The drops were no longer falling from above they non-white at an angle from the west. I could smell the brine from the ocean. My hair whipped in my face, sticking to the wet places and tangling in my lashes. I waited.Finally the door opened, and I took a step forward in relief.Billy rolling his chair into the door frame. I could see no one behind him.Charlie just ca lled, Bella. I told him you were on your way home. His eyes were full of pity.The pity made it final somehow. I didnt comment. I just turned robotically and climbed in my truck. Id left the windows open and the seats were slick and wet. It didnt matter. I was already soaked.Not as bad Not as bad my mind tried to comfort me. It was true. This wasnt as bad. This wasnt the end of the world, not again. This was just the end of what little peace there was left behind. That was all.Not as bad, I agreed, then added, but bad enough.Id thought Jake had been healing the hole in meor at least plugging it up, safekeeping it from hurting me so much. Id been wrong. Hed just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like Swiss cheese. I wondered why I didnt crumble into pieces.Charlie was waiting on the porch. As I trilled to a stop, he walked out to meet me.Billy called. He said you got in fight with Jakesaid you were beautiful upset, he explained as he opened my door for me.Then he looked at my face. A kind of horrified recognition registered in his expression. I tried to feel my face from the inside out, to know what he was seeing. My face felt empty and cold, and I realized what it would remind him of.Thats not exactly how it happened, I muttered.Charlie put his arm around me and helped me out of the car. He didnt comment on my sodden clothes.Then what did happen he asked when we were inside. He pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa as he spoke and wrapped it around my shoulders. I realized I was shivering still.My voice was lifeless. Sam Uley says Jacob cant be my friend anymore.Charlie shot me a strange look. Who told you that?Jacob, I stated, though that wasnt exactly what hed said. It was still true.Charlies eyebrows pulled together. You really think theres something wrong with the Uley kid?I know there is. Jacob wouldnt tell me what, though. I could hear the water from my clothes dripping to the floor and splashing on the linoleum. Im g oing to go change.Charlie was lost in thought. Okay, he said absently.I decided to take a shower because I was so cold, but the hot water didnt seem to affect the temperature of my skin. I was still freezing when I gave up and shut the water off. In the sudden quiet, I could hear Charlie talk to someone downstairs. I wrapped a towel around me, and cracked the bathroom door.Charlies voice was angry. Im not buying that. It doesnt make any sense.It was quiet then, and I realized he was on the phone. A minute passed.Dont you put this on Bella Charlie suddenly shouted.I jumped. When he spoke again, his voice was careful and lower. Bellas made it very clear all along thatshe and Jacob were just friends Well, if that was it, then why didnt you say so at first? No, Billy, I think shes right about this Because I know my girl, and if she says Jacob was scared before He was cut off mid-sentence, and when he answered he was almost shouting again.What do you mean I dont know my daughter as wel l as I think I do He listened for a brief second, and his response was almost too low for me to hear. If you think Im going to remind her about that, then you had better think again. Shes only just starting to get over it, and mostly because of Jacob, I think. If whatever Jacob has going on with this Sam character sends her back into that depression, then Jacob is going to have to answer to me. Youre my friend, Billy, but this is hurting my family.There was another break for Billy to respond.You got that rightthose boys set one toe out of line and Im going to know about it. Well be keeping an eye on the situation, you can be sure of that. He was no longer Charlie he was Chief Swan now.Fine. Yeah. Goodbye. The phone slammed into the cradle.I tiptoed quickly across the foyer into my room. Charlie was muttering angrily in the kitchen.So Billy was going to blame me. I was leading Jacob on and hed finally had enough.It was strange, for Id feared that myself, but after the last thing Jac ob had said this afternoon, I didnt believe it anymore. There was much more to this than an unrequited crush, and it surprised me that Billy would stoop to claiming that. It made me think that whatever secret they were keeping was bigger than Id been imagining. At least Charlie was on my side now.I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed. Life seemed dark enough at the moment chat I let myself cheat. The holeholes nowwere already aching, so why not? I pulled out the shopnor a real memory that would hurt too much, but the false memory of Edwards voice in my mind this afternoonand played it over and over in my head until I fell asleep with the tears still streaming calmly down my empty face.It was a new dream tonight. Rain was falling and Jacob was walking soundlessly beside me, though beneath my feet the ground crunched like dry gravel. But he wasnt my Jacob he was the new, bitter, graceful Jacob. The smooth suppleness of his walk reminded me of someone else, and, as I watched, his f eatures started to change. The russet color of his skin leached away, leaving his face pale white like bone. His eyes turned gold, and then crimson, and then back to gold again. His shorn hair twisted in the breeze, turning bronze where the wind touched it. And his face became so beautiful that it shattered my heart. I reached for him, but he took a step away, raising his hands like a shield. And then Edward vanished.I wasnt sure, when I woke in the dark, if Id just begun crying, or if my tears had run while I slept and simply continued now. I stared at my dark ceiling. I could feel that it was the middle of the nightI was still half-asleep, maybe more than half. I closed my eyes wearily and prayed for a dreamless sleep.Thats when I heard the noise that must have wakened me in the first place. Something sharp scraped along the length of my window with a high-pitched squeal, like fingernails against the glass.